Always in memory

Last 14 August 2013. It was a ''nightmare''.

It comes and go. I was warded on 13 August because I cannot control the pain. It's called contractions, it has really come and go (exactly the same like article about pregnancy, I have read before). I was really nervous alone at home and cannot focus on whatever I do. I take some rest but the pain still comesssss and then go like nothing happen before.

I manage to inform my mother in law, so I am packing my things and go to my mother in law's house, just walking distance only. So lucky.. :)

TIK TOK TIK TOK...

Only my father in law and sister in law in the house, so I told them that I wanna stay there because I feel not well. The fathers told me to go to hospital now, so I'm just saying.. "Hmm, okay juga. " I'm a bit awry cause I don't feel like wanna have delivered yet, but I feel not feeling well. I'm sick and cannot control when the pain comes.. 

So just stay that night at DEMC shah alam. My husband accompanies me. I keep thinking about what will happen tomorrow.  I feel so afraid. The Doctor starts to check the delivered way, hmm. baru saya tau macam tu ke check jalan. Ok +_+ . I don't like it. Feel pain and inappropriate.

1.5cm only that day.

14 August 2013

Induce pill was placed in my uterus. At 9am.Weird. Well,  don't have any experience right :)
Doctor budgeted that 2pm after this I will going to deliver. I take my rest on ward back. Waiting for 2pm, or any contractions.

2pm...
Still nothing. I don't feel any contractions, my mother in law told me to discharge if there's nothing I feel after 6pm, hmmmm. (sebab sakitnya datang2 dan macam belum serious untuk bersalin)...kidding me. First baby kot, mesti la takut. I think I better stay.

Well. I don't know. I just pray to Allah and Allah know what's inside me. I said to myself  to keep praying to Allah and have a safe future. And again told the baby to keluar dengan selamat dan cepattt ;) Lagipun dah lama sangat saya menahan sakit, dari semalam, and then it keeps coming and go until the next day.

The clock keeps on moving,  the baby still doesn't show the sign to "move out" from her heavenly place. wuwuwuwu. It's already 6pm, I can feel the contraction again and again. Doctor said the interval was 1 minute. 

Ohh, sebelum terlupa sementara menunggu contraction dari pukul 9am until 6pm tu, my husband aunt ada bagi petua, dia called suruh buat air teh, lepastu campur telur mentah. It's called TEH TELUR (TELO, ekekeke). minum. Dengar macam meloyakan!
Dua kali juga saya sempat minum, pagi dan tengahari. Rasanya tidak lah begitu teruk, hanya rasa teh yang tidak dibubuh gula je. Not more than that, tak rasa pun telur mentah yang dibayangkan tadi, hukhuk!

Apa pun, semuanya hanya ikhtiar sahaja supaya mudah bersalin dan baby pun cepat rasa nak keluar..

The clock shows 9pm. I am suffering cause of the contraction. Doctor telah pun membantu memecahkan air ketuban jam 730pm tadi. I can recall that moment one by one, I feel so nervous, I cannot think other than Allah and cry.. I look my husband, he looked panicked but calm. He looked nervous but still gave me the positive thinking, keep whispering to me the positive word, he guides me to zikr, he told me to keep holding on. He said "U kena tahan sakit sikit ya, tak lama dah, tak lama dah"

Rasa nak jerit kuat2, tapi teringat pesan mama. Jangan menjerit atau menangis, it really2 makes you lose your energy to push out the baby. I try to handle the saddest feel. I keep in focus. I think the doctor giving me a heroin injection, because I feel so sleepy and cold. 

Tepat jam, 9.50pm, lahirlah seorang bayi. Beliau telah lama duduk didalam perut. Semakin lama beliau semakin berat jadi saya sangat penat dan keletihan membawanya. Akhirnya beliau keluar. Menangis kerna menangisi perjanjiannya dengan Tuhan yang Maha Agung. 

Allah itu kuat, Aku berserah diri pada Allah, Alhamdulillah.. Hebat sungguh Allah..
Aku melihat seorang bayi yang dipegang nurse, mereka menunjukkan bayi tersebut pada ku..
Ya Allah, ini orang yang duduk dalam perut aku..hmm.. sakitnya.

Aku terus menangis, kesakitan masih terasa. I really need a rest. Rasa penat sangat, kaki dan tangan. Aku nampak bayi samar2. I try to sleep. But the pain memory comes again and again, it makes me uncomfortable and need some strength from my loved one.. I wanna hug all people around me, but I didn't have enough energy to do so. I called my husband and my mum, hugs and cry. That's the only things I'm able to do. I want them to know how I feel, how the release is, how I'm feeling great even I'm in pain :)

That's some of my deliver story. 

I'll update next about the sweety baby, sheee.. What? She? 
Yup! SHE likes staying in my tummy :)

Thanks a lot!

Assalamualaikum. Jumpa lagi!